The Story Of S And P - Part IX Turbulence

P's mind is a metropolis of confusion. He loves S, and awaits her eagerly. He has all kinds of feelings for her, and wants to share all about his life and all his future with her. He is deeply interested in her, and asks her multitude of questions each time they meet, in order to know more about her, and understand her so he can love her better. On the other hand, S is in a state of doubt still, and although much better now, still the interest she shows in him is just minimal. That is a cause of worry for him. What is assuring to P is the fact that he believes is true - that S has never lied to him, and never will. Besides it, the fact that she is showing the slight inclination towards him via acts of meeting him everyday gets a smug smile of contention on his face.

All these extreme variations in emotions and the attachment makes S a completely different being to what he was before. He becomes too sentimental, cries often now, for the silliest of reasons like when S does not meet him, worries a lot when he thinks she is maybe not feeling well - while this is at P's end, S from her side does not give him a reason for her absence, still does not open up to him, keeps her distance. P tries a new channel of communication and calls her up in order to talk. But, S shows hesitation, and later reluctance to talk. S is totally unsure if he is doing the right thing, if he is maybe doing something wrong, if he has to change something about himself or the circumstance, whether he is supposed to say something that he has not, and she is expecting, et cetra. S's thoughts lead him into pondering on extremes - on whether he has made the right decision at all in the first place when he decided on S as the girl for her.

S only gives P divided attention when P talks with utmost earnestness while under the impression that he has S's full attention. Overall, S's reaction to all the actions P takes is only tepid, and only makes the extreme thoughts in P's mind to consolidate. P wants to fight them away, get rid of them totally, but he can do nothing without S's help. The demons rise their ugly head and P tries to fight valiantly, because there is not another option if he wants to protect the relationship. At the same time, he knows he can only ward the demons off for a while if he battles alone. He desperately needs S to be by his side so he can take a decisive stand against the demons.

(To be completed... Nobody knows the future - only the past and the present as it is uncovered.)